That Was a Long Time Ago

by Jarrod Whittington

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about

This was a case study of some of the first songs I ever wrote: revised and re-recorded onto cassette in 2009.

credits

released March 30, 2009

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all rights reserved

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Jarrod Whittington and the Subatomic Particles Brooklyn, New York

In summer, the song sings itself.

--WCW

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Track Name: October the Fourth
It seems that I am less and less
Becoming what I might have guessed
And more and more I am becoming not
At all what I might have thought

I was born on the fourth of October
Since then I have not been entirely sober
I've been the last one picked and the first one picked apart
Late summer blood inside an early autumn heart

It seems that it was never true
The dream that bonded me to you
The traces of the memory still show
But that was a long time ago

So I will speak to you in a dying tongue
And I will breathe the words through an iron lung
And I will wish you had said what you wanted to say
Instead of dying to leave but surviving to stay

But that was a long time ago
We have changed, I told you so
You told me where I could go
But that was a long time ago
Track Name: Rte 33
Through the trees I can see the light
Of a big harvest funeral pyre, glowing in the night
These rolling hills are rolling through my head
Underneath the highway lights, that's when she said,

"Where you're going, I've already been to
Winter is coming and it's time to leave you
On the edge of something that I never wanted
But maybe this ghost won't make you feel haunted"

The engine is humming, the windows are freezing
The music of comfort for in this bitter season
A rainy day, the earth turned to clay
Underneath the highway lights I heard her say,

"Where you're going, I've already been to
Winter is coming and it's time to leave you
On the edge of something that I never wanted
But maybe this ghost won't make you feel haunted"
Track Name: For a Box of Old Cassettes (Fade Away)
What do we have before us?
One verse and a half-finished chorus
It's gonna sound the same
It's gonna be a shame

Because I once had a dream
But now it seems I've lost it
And I feel so dumb
Every time I come across it
I found the song
It was almost gone forever
And I let it fade away

This box is filled with regrets
Found art and loose cassettes
Mock scenes and magazines and such
I try not to think about it too much

I once had a dream
And now it seems it's faded
And the interim
Has me so intimidated
The words you read
They were almost dead forever
And I let them fade away

What do I have before me?
These things that'll never bore me
Brief histories of a life nearly made
I know I'll never let them fade
Track Name: Left For Dead
Hold on, my hands have gone numb from the cold
And sympathy is in such short supply
Why does she never look at me the way she used to? So open
I can't believe that I've been left to die

Can you cauterize this wound?
Can you carry the weight of my suffering?
And help me find the strength to fight again

Look into my eyes, I've got nothing left to show you
Except for all the things that make me blind
So why does she never look at me the way you do? So open
I won't believe that I've been left behind

If you see her again
Will you send her my love forever?
And help me find the strength to fight again
Track Name: Familiar/Familial
How do I look in your eyes?
Am I just another face in your life?
Could you spot me in a rolling crowd?
I'd crack a smile, but I am too proud
Track Name: Moonlight Madonna
Past the gates and through the park
I walk alone into the dark
To my moonlight madonna

No one knows she's mine all mine
My winter queen in the summertime
My moonlight madonna

Stolen bracelets or diamond rings
I'd bring my baby most anything
My moonlight madonna

In fact, if she could have the sun
I'd steal the light from everyone
For my moonlight madonna

And I'd cry, cry, cry
If she said goodbye
But she'll never let me go
She told me so

Eyes like fire and pale as a ghost
She's thirsty and I am the host
For my moonlight madonna

Ecstasy and endless pain
My love is gushing from my veins
For my moonlight madonna

And if she couldn't stay
I'd fade, fade away, goodbye
But she'll never let me go
She told me so

But now it's getting late and the time has come
To bid farewell and go on home
My moonlight madonna

So until we meet by the next twilight
I'll close the lid and say goodnight
To my moonlight madonna
Track Name: Crushed
I'm a dandelion seed, floating on the wind
With you hand outstretched, release a wish within
Feel me crushed, soft against your skin

In your summer dress with the shoulder strap that slips
I'm a piece of ice between your fingertips
Feel me crushed, cool against your lips

On the grass, lying in the yard
I'm a tiny flower, petals spread apart
Feel me crushed, pressed against your heart
Track Name: For the Night Sky Over Leitnaker's Field
Now shall I bid you goodnight
Close your sleepy eyes
Dream your heart's desire
Wait for the sun to rise

The moon makes his way
Across the starry divide
And I will be your pillow
When your heart beats with mine
Track Name: Rte 33 [acoustic raw version]
Through the trees I can see the light
Of a big harvest funeral pyre, glowing in the night
These rolling hills are rolling through my head
Underneath the highway lights, that's when she said,

"Where you're going, I've already been to
Winter is coming and it's time to leave you
On the edge of something that I never wanted
But maybe this ghost won't make you feel haunted"

The engine is humming, the heater is wheezing
The music of comfort for a night darkly freezing
Or a rainy day, the earth turned to clay
Underneath the highway lights I heard her say,

"Where you're going, I've already been to
Winter is coming and it's time to leave you
On the edge of something that I never wanted
But maybe this ghost won't make you feel haunted"
Track Name: By July [demo version]
In our days of infinite leisure
When you were my infinite pleasure
Secret time with you I treasured
Those hours they could not be measured
Even when it was dark and cold out
It felt warm in the hand you'd hold out
Wave goodbye to the clouds as they rolled out
Feeling things I had only been told about

Come on, let's run away
We only get a precious few of these days
Come on, your heart cannot be saved
But you won't mind
By July

Funny how the paths we're used to
Intersect but not when we'd choose to
Though for a while I might amuse you
Eventually I knew I'd lose you
But I remember when I found you
On the hill, the park-and-town view
And the evening light would surround you
Eternity was all around you

So come on, it's getting late
And you know our lives won't hesitate
To leave us both behind to wait
For another try
By July

Somehow we lost connection
After the summer session
But we shared that intersection
With eternity in all directions
Track Name: Fade Away [acoustic raw version]
What do we have before us?
One verse and a half-finished chorus
It's gonna sound the same
It's gonna be a shame

Because I once had a dream
But now it seems I've lost it
And I feel so dumb
Every time I come across it
I found the song
It was almost gone forever
And I let it fade away

This box is filled with regrets
Found art and loose cassettes
Mock scenes and magazines and such
I try not to think about it too much

I once had a dream
And now it seems it's faded
And the interim
Has me so intimidated
The words you read
They were almost dead forever
And I let them fade away

What do I have before me?
These things that'll never bore me
Brief histories of a life nearly made
I know I'll never let them fade
Track Name: Familiar/Familial [long version]
How do I look in your eyes?
Am I just another face in your life?
Could you spot me in a rolling crowd?
I'd crack a smile, but I am too proud

I'm not so special, just a leaf in the wind
A would-be prophet with my paper and pen
Trying to draw the edges of an object unseen
These social graces don't mean nothing to me

Oh, what you miss
When you're consumed by all of this
When every line that you read
Makes you long for what you don't need

Tracing an outline in the frost
Trying to make some sense of what's been lost
But that shadow looms, too large for you to see
Twilight skyline is there room in there for me?

Oh, it's what you dread
Turns our hearts into cold lumps of lead
And outside the snow starts to drift
And your fingers are frozen stiff

But somehow all these ghosts
Are never laid to rest
The ones you loved the most
Are tearing at your chest
And everybody wants
To find some saving grace
But I prefer the silence
The words are just a waste

How do I look in your eyes?
Was I just another phase of your life?
Against the backdrop of the ember sky
Every dark figure looks like a spy
The words are just a waste